Monday, January 24, 2011

"My husband".

Found one interesting thing today thanks to my friend, Terri.

When we were talking about my divorce, she asked me why I call my husband "my husband", not by his name. She also continued she was wondering about that for a long time, since she knows my situation and there is no problem to understand when I talk about him called by his name.

Well, my husband is still my husband since we aren't divorced yet, still I am his wife legally, even though we are legally separated for more than an year.

According to Terri, in this culture, when I call my husband "my husband", it sounds like I still have some feeling left for him. Because "my husband" is only one specific person who is in emotional relationship, but it sounds like just a person if you call him by his name because it's just a name and there are many people who has the same name, so, "my husband" is closer relationship than "calling him by his name".

Well, in my culture (Japanese), it is totally opposite.
We don't call people by their first name until we get to know each other well and get to in closer relationship. I call my best friends by her first name, but call other friends by their family name. It never happen in Japan to call your boss by his/her first name, but Mr./Mrs./Mis. --- or by a title. So to call a person by his/her first name means being in closer relationship.

"My husband" is just a way to call him formally in public, there is no other meaning to me. So I will call him by his name from now on when I talk about him. Although I feel like it is strange...

Very interesting, isn't it???