Sunday, October 23, 2011

Make up Dresser.

I received an email from my mother asking me if she can give her daughter-in-law, my sister-in-law, my make up dresser that I have at her house. My make up dresser looks like this.

I bought it when I married to my first husband. Having this kind of dresser at home shows one of the married women's status in Japan. My mother also bought hers when she married with my father. I didn't have mine until my first marriage. I used to use hers by then. After I divorced my first husband, I brought it back to my mother's house, so she now has two dressers in the family room.

I had never thought whether my sister-in-law didn't have it. My brother and she bought (custom home) a house this year. They used to live in two bedroom apartment with 3 little sons. It was kind of surprise for me to know she wants to have it, which means she now has room for the big dresser in the home.

I am usually not interested in material things. I am not attracted by going malls for shopping since most of sales items are junks to me. When my mother wanted to clean her house 4 - 5 years ago when I visited her house, she asked me to throw away everything of my belongings since I didn't live there anymore. She wanted to use full space of the house for herself. I wanted to send some keepsake things to my home in the USA, but it was too expensive. I gave away some stuff to my friends, but most of them were abandoned and a little were sent here. I thought I cannot even afford to have memorials goods. So, I don't have anything in her house anymore. Especially after this event, I minimize my shopping, except for fabrics. When I have a lot of things, it makes difficult to move around. I don't want to have any special feelings for material things. If I leave this country and go back to Japan, all I take are my lap top computer and some clothes. I believe my quilting friends can take care of other things I own after that :-p

The dresser wasn't abandoned since it was big and valuable. I really didn't care what my mother may do with it later. It was kind of shock to me to realize that I don't have any special feeling for it as furniture, however as a spiritual thing. I emailed back to my mother saying "Do whatever you want. It would be nice for you to have more room in the family room after it was moved to her (my sister-in-law)." This is not sarcastic. I love my sister-in-law. I am happy when she is happy. Giving the dresser to her makes her and my mother happy, and probably my brother, too. The dresser turns to be from useless to useful. There is no disadvantages for all of us. There is no reason for me to say "That's mine" or "Just leave it there" or something to keep it in order to satisfy my feeling.

I just feel a little sad. I should have learned this kind of feeling is useless to move ahead. Well. I obviously need self-disciplines more and more... and more... and more.