It's so strange, but I feel I now have a new life.
My loooooong divorce process finally got final on August 16; I am totally happy! - I am anyway happy most of the time though :-p I am lucky to be born this way. I am thankful for my parents to inherit me this genes.
My marriage life existed only on paper, not real, my situation physically won't change at all after this process. But, it's so nice to feel that my ex is not part of my life anymore. I miss his rabbits, but him. My name was restored to my maiden name, I haven't received any financil support and won't receive any, which I chose, from him; so, I won't see his family name anywhere anymore. There is nothing to recall him :D :D :D :D I am confidence to forget about him very soon :D :D :D I don't carry unhappy things on. I think it's from my personality. I am again thankful for my parents to give me a birth this way.
Anyway, I would like to show the divorce process I went through. Nothing messy though, it was done ALL free - someone may be interested.
- saw a free lawyer for protective order at the Legal service office. The lawyer told me to come back after 6 months separation to begin my divorce process, also suggested me to make the Property Settlement Agreement.
- made an appointment with the lawyer, but the PSA wasn't done yet, so I was told to make a new appointment after it's done.
- tried to make an appointment with the lawyer again, but I was told that my case was closed. So, tried to make all confusing clear, and I was suggested to make an appointment with Divorce Clinic which is to register Pro Bono Attorney service. Reservation was booked until the end of Jan 2011. So, I took the earierst possible date that I could take; it was Jan 22nd.
I started to think about filing divorce by myself. I thought I wouldn't need a laywer because I didn't have any property issues, I didn't ask him even a penny, the PSA was already done; I downloaded sample of PSA and modified it for my case. I checked online, the county website had a pdf file explained how to file divorce without an attorney. There were some books "Do yourself" at libralies, but all of them also say "You can do it by yourself, BUT hiring an attorney is strongly recommended." People around me also told me "well..., you better have a lawyer."
- Divorce Clinic - I was qualified to obtain a Pro Bono Laywer. They said they will get me a laywer, also added "it may take a year."
I started to go to community college to learn English because I didn't want to waste my time while waiting. Grant (free money for education from federal) convinced me to go to the college.
- I waited a year - I was anyway busy with school. I didn't hear anything from the Legal Service office. I started to wonder where my case is. I contacted them and found they forgot to process my case whole year.
If you have a opportunity to use this kind of office, you better contact them very often. Their telephone usually busy all the time, so better to appear in the office in person.
The assistant of legal service office admitted "I forgot. Your file was on a wrong pile. It's my fault. I apologize." I thought I like her. Many people don't mind to make excuses or don't even realize making excuses. Excuses make things difficult. Why they don't mind to be an obstacle to move forward? But, she didn't.
- I was introduced to my Pro Bono attorney. She was quick! Thanks to her filing "Waiver of court fee", all fees were waived :D
- Hearing at the court. I practiced the questions to be asked with my lawyer prior, there was not any problems. Hearing in front of the judge including my witness's testimony (thanks, S!) was done in 7 min. The judge singed on my divorce decree right after the testimony :D
My lawyer could do the hearing at her office, but she chose to do at the court because I can get the decree very quick. When the hearing was done at attorney's office, I might have had to wait a month or more to get the decree. I appreciate her taking her extra time for my benefit, which she really didn't have to.
I think I really learned a lot about life during the past few years. Also, it's a guilt to skip thanking my friends. Their supports, concerns about me, attentions to me, letting me be myself, etc, which is impossible to buy by money, everything is my treasure. And, especially, very special thanks to S and R who is my landlord and my housemate. I am very lucky to have them in my life.
Also, appreciate all tax payers. All kinds of free services I have been getting from the government are paid from your taxes. I won't hesitate to pay taxes when I get a decent job in future.
Thank you very much :)